K.B.G. Wall Division

A Resume was recently found on the desk of the Director of Human Resources at the Soviet KBG Wall Division.

Dear Comrades, as the pretender President of the former United States of America I have honed the craft of subterfuge to its highest level, raining a level of terror and chaos on our gullible public unrivaled since our Great Civil War.

Ever since the fall of your Magnificent Wall separating West Germany from your comrades in East Germany, back in the 80’s I have made it my mission to rebuild those Great Walls wherever I can.

Being fundamentally anti-social and lusting for greater power, I wish to offer my skills to your KBG Wall Division.

I look forward to working with you and having many WALL ERECTIONS together.

Grab your Erasures

I am not nor have I ever been a racist; but I find the current West Wing resident has steered me toward becoming an eRASIST.

Like the ancient Egyptians, I desire to erase Pharaoh T’s name from the public record; to chisel out his pathetically over-sized name from all monuments, and nullify all of his edicts.

I want history to skip over President #45 leaving a blank space for future generations to wonder about.

When they ask why #45 is missing from the roll call of Presidents, they will have ironically answered their own question. #45 was always missing.

He played at the Presidency and used our country as his own personal Dynasty.

God! He loved to sit in a truck seat and blare the horn or in a fire truck and rev up the siren.

Dressing up as pretend soldier, or throwing paper towel rolls to Hurricane survivors would endear him to his clannish subjects. But the Pharaoh has no clothes.

The only real effort he ever displayed was swinging a golf club, or bragging to reporters how everyone loves the imaginary things he has accomplished.

His Dynasty was a drawn out series of illegalities followed by lying, blaming, and distracting to hide them all.

Pharaoh T’s deeds must always be remembered, but erasing his name from our history books and referring to him as #45 would be divine justice.

Crying from his sarcophagus, his tortured ego will forever be appealing his final judgment. The Supreme Court on high will never overturn it.

Roger Stoned to Death

Roger Stone the “Wizard of Flaws”, a macabre amalgamation of Elton John, the Wicked Witch and a large helping of Satan, was arrested Friday 1/25/2019 by the FBI on a seven-count indictment.

It is alleged that he committed perjury when he lied to and obstructed the House Intelligence Committee’s investigation of Russian interference in the 2016 election.

Stone, a longtime aide, and confidant of President Donald ‘Wanta Wall’ was a GOP operative and prominent Wanta Wall cheerleader. Their relationship spans nearly 40 years.

May the fallout from his arrest and hopeful conviction hurtle down on the current West Wing Resident Wicked Twit? We Munchkins will joyously sing “Get up Get up You sleepy Heads. Ding-Dong! … ‘The Twit’ is dead!”

I can’t wait for that Balloon to drop.

P.S If you don’t know much about Roger Stone click the…

Stone Crusher

Wilbur Horse

With eyes drawn back into his painfully colorless face, Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Horse addressed the Nation today.

Financial disclosure forms report that Mr. Horse has a net worth of $700 million.

This nest egg results in his inability to understand why laid-off Federal Employees have to go to food pantries, during President WALLDO’s government shutdown.

Wilbur lives off many investments purchased using the interest from residuals he received from reruns of a TV show that ran on CBS from 1961 to 1966.

He starred as Mr. Ed, a talking horse that shared horse sense with America by talking to his hapless owner Wilbur.

Remembering his proud stance and the wisdom expressed in his long face, it is sad to see him today.

While addressing the nation, the words flowing from his shrunken ventriloquist puppet mouth clearly demonstrated that horse sense will decline over time and the decline will continue to accelerate when large amounts of money are available.

Chef Nancy

“Chef Nancy”, a new show produced by Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi just premiered on national television.

Two episodes “How to cook a goose.”, and “How to crack a Wall-Nut.” premiered on NPR, the (Newly Shattered Republicans) broadcast network.

This cooking show takes old specials of the day out of the frying pan and into the fire.

This sizzling new appetizer of a show has enthralled the public.

I see Emmy nominations in its future.

Our Russian Doll

The medical examiner said, “If it looks like a duck we’ll crack it open and we’ll find a duck”.

President Putininski acts like a Russian Doll with all his twists and turns.

His performance at the White House is not like any given by prima ballerinas of the Bolshoi Ballet.

He acts out his privileged perverted life by figuratively barging into Committee dressing rooms while they’re still dressing, shaming Republican and Democratic bodies with equal disdain.

He’s wealthy and powerful and everyone, except him, looks the other way to protect their own interests.

President Putininski even resembles a fat Golden Russian Doll, that upon twisting the outermost shell apart one uncovers a plethora of dolls each hidden inside its older sibling.

You will discover that the best part of this Russian Doll is its shining Atlantic City Casino Golden façade.

This apprenticed façade never lets you see the ugliness behind it unless you are looking for it.

The deeper you probe this Russian Doll the redder he becomes. Deep inside, he becomes smaller, deeper still he becomes darker.

Yes, we have elected a Russian Doll and peeling away his many layers has revealed a dark and hollow void.

Hopefully, before four years have passed our eyes will adjust to the darkness and peering into it we will see its contents, “A simple lump of coal”.

STABLE GENIUS

Mr. Bigly has declared himself “A Stable Genius”.

A stable genius is someone who hires others to clean up their shit.

Short term employment is available at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, due to a high turnover rate.

People applying for Senior Level Positions should ignore the ELEPHANT in the room.

Wash Your Hands When You Leave This Page

Donald Drumph promised to Drain the Swamp. Who knew that he would hire more shady plumbers than Richard Nixon. We need to clean up after them and finally FLUSH the SWAMP.

The Art of the Squeal

My lifestyle has been deemed piggish by a majority of Americans.

I am proud to be seen as piggish. In fact, I wanted to make the pig our National Bird, but some of those scientific naysayers were against that.

The Pig is a noble creature that unselfishly sacrifices itself for the welfare of their Country. I have eaten hundreds of them, and have never heard one of them complain, unlike my staff.

Available NOV 3, 2020, ***

The Art of the Squeal
Another Oinker from D.J. Drumpig.

Preorder the Book - Mexico will pay for it.

*** Robert Mueller may be advancing the Release date of this book.

Front cover of fictitious book, The Art of the Squeal

House Chair

Women’s Rights

Protected by Democratic House Chair.

“And when you’re a star they let you do it,” Drump says. “You can do anything.” “Grab them by the pussy,” “You can do anything.”

The Evangelical Right has recently come out in support of funding for more Democratic House Chairs after pictures surfaced in the National Inquisition Magazine.

The picture shows one of these Democratic chairs intervening in an awkward moment as the Donald approaches an unsuspecting Christian Center Lobbyist from the rear.