Roger Stoned to Death

Roger Stone the “Wizard of Flaws”, a macabre amalgamation of Elton John, the Wicked Witch and a large helping of Satan, was arrested Friday 1/25/2019 by the FBI on a seven-count indictment.

It is alleged that he committed perjury when he lied to and obstructed the House Intelligence Committee’s investigation of Russian interference in the 2016 election.

Stone, a longtime aide, and confidant of President Donald ‘Wanta Wall’ was a GOP operative and prominent Wanta Wall cheerleader. Their relationship spans nearly 40 years.

May the fallout from his arrest and hopeful conviction hurtle down on the current West Wing Resident Wicked Twit? We Munchkins will joyously sing “Get up Get up You sleepy Heads. Ding-Dong! … ‘The Twit’ is dead!”

I can’t wait for that Balloon to drop.

P.S If you don’t know much about Roger Stone click the…

Stone Crusher

Wilbur Horse

With eyes drawn back into his painfully colorless face, Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Horse addressed the Nation today.

Financial disclosure forms report that Mr. Horse has a net worth of $700 million.

This nest egg results in his inability to understand why laid-off Federal Employees have to go to food pantries, during President WALLDO’s government shutdown.

Wilbur lives off many investments purchased using the interest from residuals he received from reruns of a TV show that ran on CBS from 1961 to 1966.

He starred as Mr. Ed, a talking horse that shared horse sense with America by talking to his hapless owner Wilbur.

Remembering his proud stance and the wisdom expressed in his long face, it is sad to see him today.

While addressing the nation, the words flowing from his shrunken ventriloquist puppet mouth clearly demonstrated that horse sense will decline over time and the decline will continue to accelerate when large amounts of money are available.

Chef Nancy

“Chef Nancy”, a new show produced by Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi just premiered on national television.

Two episodes “How to cook a goose.”, and “How to crack a Wall-Nut.” premiered on NPR, the (Newly Shattered Republicans) broadcast network.

This cooking show takes old specials of the day out of the frying pan and into the fire.

This sizzling new appetizer of a show has enthralled the public.

I see Emmy nominations in its future.

Our Russian Doll

The medical examiner said, “If it looks like a duck we’ll crack it open and we’ll find a duck”.

President Putininski acts like a Russian Doll with all his twists and turns.

His performance at the White House is not like any given by prima ballerinas of the Bolshoi Ballet.

He acts out his privileged perverted life by figuratively barging into Committee dressing rooms while they’re still dressing, shaming Republican and Democratic bodies with equal disdain.

He’s wealthy and powerful and everyone, except him, looks the other way to protect their own interests.

President Putininski even resembles a fat Golden Russian Doll, that upon twisting the outermost shell apart one uncovers a plethora of dolls each hidden inside its older sibling.

You will discover that the best part of this Russian Doll is its shining Atlantic City Casino Golden façade.

This apprenticed façade never lets you see the ugliness behind it unless you are looking for it.

The deeper you probe this Russian Doll the redder he becomes. Deep inside, he becomes smaller, deeper still he becomes darker.

Yes, we have elected a Russian Doll and peeling away his many layers has revealed a dark and hollow void.

Hopefully, before four years have passed our eyes will adjust to the darkness and peering into it we will see its contents, “A simple lump of coal”.

STABLE GENIUS

Mr. Bigly has declared himself “A Stable Genius”.

A stable genius is someone who hires others to clean up their shit.

Short term employment is available at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, due to a high turnover rate.

People applying for Senior Level Positions should ignore the ELEPHANT in the room.

Wash Your Hands When You Leave This Page

Donald Drumph promised to Drain the Swamp. Who knew that he would hire more shady plumbers than Richard Nixon. We need to clean up after them and finally FLUSH the SWAMP.

The Art of the Squeal

My lifestyle has been deemed piggish by a majority of Americans.

I am proud to be seen as piggish. In fact, I wanted to make the pig our National Bird, but some of those scientific naysayers were against that.

The Pig is a noble creature that unselfishly sacrifices itself for the welfare of their Country. I have eaten hundreds of them, and have never heard one of them complain, unlike my staff.

Available NOV 3, 2020, ***

The Art of the Squeal
Another Oinker from D.J. Drumpig.

Preorder the Book - Mexico will pay for it.

*** Robert Mueller may be advancing the Release date of this book.

Front cover of fictitious book, The Art of the Squeal

House Chair

Women’s Rights

Protected by Democratic House Chair.

“And when you’re a star they let you do it,” Drump says. “You can do anything.” “Grab them by the pussy,” “You can do anything.”

The Evangelical Right has recently come out in support of funding for more Democratic House Chairs after pictures surfaced in the National Inquisition Magazine.

The picture shows one of these Democratic chairs intervening in an awkward moment as the Donald approaches an unsuspecting Christian Center Lobbyist from the rear.

the Wizards of Paws

Eric explains
I’m lacking in brains.
Don’s got no heart,
But does not complain.
So they follow direction,
By paying attention
To the man behind curtain who says…

In Africa, go hunting
Wild game, It’s a fun thing
Not cruel, as some people say…
It’s a way to be happy
And still be as sappy
No brain and no heart is the way

Then both of them dancing
Went gleefully prancing.
Down off their plane to find …
A gold brick lined lane.
Lined with bodies of slain …
Peoples from land long ago.

Though no longer living,
Their rights being taken
By Kings and by Queens far away
Making their stand,
To the last dying man
Remember the souls …
African.

And then come the lions,
And then come the tigers,
And then come the beers, don’t you see! …
For the beer is imported
And definitely required
For hunting a necessity

You all must die now.
You’ve nothing to fear.
Why won’t you listen?
It’s why we’re all here

Come out, come out now,
We’ll set you all free.
You all have to die now …
Why don’t you see?
When we can kill you
It makes us both high.
We’ll then take a selfie,
And hideously sigh …

“We’ll get your dogs too,
And monkeys that fly!”
The guides are all stunned
And release an “Oh My!”

#FLUSHtheSWAMP

DysFUNction WORLD

Welcome to the site of the future PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY and theme park DYSFUNCTION WORLD.

It is located in the relatively draft free Mister DODGERS neighborhood, a gated community in downtown Dubrovnik.

All arrivals to the theme park will be greeted with a musical rendition of “Don’t you be my neighbor” sung by the Alexandrov Ensemble, the official army choir of the Russian armed forces.

If you can find fun in dysfunction, you can find the bearable in unbearable.